"Shape of my Heart"/"Tearin' up my Heart"

 

BSB (Brian's still the best)

 

 

NSYNC (JC 4eva)

 

 

Can it be true that Matt (a 21 year old boy, mind you) was blasting my favorite boy band songs as I traipsed into Cornerstone, this evening?  My absolute favorite BSB song, then followed by my 2nd favorite NSYNC song.  And yes, you can be a dual fan.  I always have been.  BSB has more staying power, but NSYNC freaking rocked the dance moves.  Alright, have I been talking about boy bands for too long?  Anyway, it was so much fun for me, and brought me right back to my 6th grade dances.  If they only knew that I still listen to all these songs, currently.  And hearing these songs on a stereo system, loudly and proudly, definitely amped me up for the workout.  I was determined to finish the WOD tonight, because I have recently been in a pinch where I keep almost finishing WODs, and it's super annoying.  The workout tonight was:

 

5x5 overhead squats (no one is "good" at these) followed by a 20:00 cap for 50 pullups/50 American KBS (35 lbs for women)/50 double unders (150 singles)/50 overhead squats (65lbs for women),  I do not have pull ups, so I use bands to help me, but still 50 is a lot.  I finished those quickly since I scaled them (and I was the only one to do so.  I miss my other class.  Haha.), and then the kettle bell swings weren't so bad to do 10 at a time.  But the singles took me a little bit longer.  It was the freaking overhead squats that I knew were going to give me trouble. To put it in a time frame, I was done with the first two movements in under 6 minutes.  And I was the slowest one.  Oh, and you couldn't break them up into 10s or anything, you had to finish one whole set of movements before going onto the next one.  I dropped the bar behind me and was doing them in sets of 4 some point in the middle of the overhead squats, but I finished in 18:38!  I was very happy with how I did, tonight.  I needed to bounce back from last night, I think, where I don't think I pushed myself as hard as I could have (workout was FSQ 5x5 and then Tabata (20sec on/10sec rest) of squats x8, then push ups x8, then butterfly situps x8.  As many as possible.  That was a real doozy. 

 

Aside from the love for boy bands coinciding with my love for Crossfit, there is another reason I love this place.  Last Saturday, two members (one is a coach, the other his wife) hosted a charity event to raise money for building a school/community center in Haiti.  The children they serve are currently being schooled in a tent and have minimal supplies.  So, they hosted an all day competition and the winners received a moderate amount on a giftcard and a hand drawn picture from a child at the school.  I did not compete or even attempt to (it was a month long event), but I did agree to volunteer, all day.  It was so nice to see my coaches and fellow members outside of the WOD realm.  One coach competed, and that was cool to see him, too.  Funnily enough, as coaches, I don't get to see them do a whole lot of working out during the week, so it's neat when I get to.  The day really showed me what a family Crossfit becomes.  There were shared laughs, adoration for the new dog, and plantain chips.  Plus, the whole premise of the day was to put yourself through something for the sheer profit of someone else who needs it more badly than you do.  And I miss that from my life.  I like to see that Crossfit can build bridges into parts of the real world.  Just solidifies my respect for the whole notion.

 

Continuing to be in love with this life...

"Demons" by Imagine Dragons

What can I say?  This song is beyond beautiful and poignant and freaking amazing.  Yes, Louis C.K,, I choose to use the word "amazing" for this song (reference here).  The lyrics are a little depressing, but what I get from this song, is strength in adversity, and the effort to be fearless despite what you are, whether that's "good" or "bad."  And for me, that alludes to the unhealthy habits I've had and the effects they have had on my body.  I'm not perfect, I cannot offer you or myself everything, but I have something to cherish and something to take care of.  My body and my self.  Cue the cheesy background music!  I think this song is about forgiving yourself for the faults and imperfections you may have committed or that you have. 

This song also speaks to me about my mom.  Who recently underwent kidney transplant surgery after being on a donor list for 8ish years (no one can really remember if it was 8 or 10).  She is a diabetic, she has some pulmonary hypertension, she has a little bit of congestive heart failure.  She wasn't the greatest at taking care of her body and was also handed a few cards that made it worse.  But, above all of that, she has a heart of gold.  She would never wish bad upon a person, and she wants only for good to be in the lives of her loved ones.  She isn't perfect, and she doesn't always say the most perfect things (especially to her most perfect daughter, me!), but she is truly an example of goodness.  But back to my point, even though she had put herself in the situation of having low functioning kidneys, she has received a truly miraculous gift.  A second chance.  The song doesn't say if you deserve saving or not, but that it's there.  And that it's okay to embrace all of who you are, good, bad, or otherwise.

So back to Crossfit.  I have been good about going, and really missed it when I couldn't go as often while Mom was in the hospital for surgery and whatnot.  But I went the night before Thanksgiving, and was the only person there!  It was a partner workout ("Jack" 20:00 AMRAP 10 push presses/10 kettle bell swings/10 box jumps).  I didn't go that fast, but I kept a good pace.  I was off my game, though.  As evidenced by the fact that I hit my chin with the bar, nearly dropped a 35 lb kettle bell behind my head, and nearly fell forward on a box jump.  I hadn't been eating that great because I was out of my routine, and while that is the weakest excuse, I used it to justify drinking diet soda and eating a pizza in a week, all by myself.  I also forgot my hair thing that night, and my hair (almost down to my butt), kept getting caught in my armpits. :)

And then, last night, I went back and we did "Cindy with a Jerk."  I laugh everytime I see that!  "Cindy" is a 20:00 AMRAP of 5 pull ups/10 push ups/15 squats, and they also added a clean and jerk.  I met my goal of number of rounds, and it felt great to be "back."  Oh, and we were supposed to end with a 2 mi cool down, and we typically run behind the shopping center where our box is.  It was dark, and it started to rain.  Brandon bestowed pity on us, and less than halfway through, he picked us up in his car.  :)  He also cleaned up all of our supplies.  What a guy.

Tonight, I went to Skinnyfit, and Matt blasted "Demons" about halfway through the workout, which was a real doozy! (400m run, "Karen"-150 wall balls, "Annie"-50/40/30/20/10 sit ups/double unders (or scaled double the amount of single jump ropes), 400m run).  And the song carried me through the first set of sit ups.  I was the last to finish with a 35:00 cap.  And Matt, being the supportive coach and generous person that he is, ran with me the last 400m.  You can't pay for quality coaching like that!  And not to mention, Matt had us play leap frog and do cartwheels in the warm up.  He is like a puppet master.  But in a nice, sadistic, way. :) 

That is two nights in a row, that people have been generous enough to clean up my things for me.  I feel as if I benefit so much from the people who go here and the coaches, that I feel compelled to put something back into this establishment.  That's what drives me to be a success story and to spread the support and encouragement to others who walk through our doors.  I can't say it enough.  Loving crossfit.  Loving myself.

"Young, Wild, and Free" by Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and Bruno Mars

I've recently resigned to the realization that I am in fact, a twentysomething, with nothing but financial obligation, who chooses to prioritize family, personal time, health, and spending time with friends having new experiences.  I am thoroughly enjoying going to Crossfit/Skinnyfit as often as I have been, splurging on good, quality food, and answering only to myself.  This song played tonight, and although I'm not quite as carefree as the song would suggest (I am fiscally responsible and always go to work), the attitude that "I don't care who sees" resonates with me.  I still wear tight fitting clothes to Crossfit that showcase my belly fat and my legs.  I am putting myself out there and I'm not going to hide under baggy, un-cute clothes. 

I have been going to Crossfit more regularly and feeling less and less self-conscious about what kind of workout is going to be posted, and more and more confident about being inviting and being myself, there.  I have encountered some very kind, helpful people within the walls of this establishment.  People who help me with bands, carry boxes for me, clean up my supplies because I'm the last person working out, people who yell and encourage me to keep going, people who offer tips to improve my form or to make it a little easier on myself.  I have been eating well, but I had Doritos, today.  NOT a good idea.  But I have also recently decided to stop keeping a food journal.  I don't want to be hung up on calories (even approximated ones which is what I did most of the time), and I want it to be an overall improvement.  I don't plan on writing down what I eat for the rest of my life, but I do plan on working out and pushing myself.

I have definitely noticed that I can run with more stamina.  Still usually start out in the beginning and end up in the back, but at least I finish.  My squat positioning is consistent and my elbows are out, which indicates that I have improved shoulder flexibility.  My arms are getting tighter, my traps are getting sore more regularly, meaning they are coming into their own form, and my knees are bruised from the rigor of some of the workouts.  I love it!  I have spent quite a few evenings looking at my body in the mirror.  I never even used to be able to do that, clothed, and feel comfortable.  Now, I examine my naked self to see what areas are improving, which areas still need work, and to build confidence.  It's just a body.  A tool to feel better about myself.  My clothes are fitting much looser and I am buying smaller sizes at the store.  And this may not seem like a big deal, but my breasts are a little smaller.  It is an area that I have always been self-conscious about, and now they are becoming more shapely.  So are my legs.  I never thought that would happen.  I attributed their shape to genetics and accepted that they would never be my favorite feature.  But I have strong legs, now.  And I love to look at them. :o)

Over the last few weeks since my last blog entry, I endured a "met-con" week, meaning it was mostly "metabolic conditioning" which means a hell of a lot of cardio and at high intensity.  I've also worked on snatches, overhead squats, back squats, push presses, wall balls, pull ups, and cleans.  A girl named Kelly really helped me with my pull ups.  As I do not have as much upper body strength, these are very hard for me, and I require 2-3 bands to do them, efficiently.  She helped me to loop them together, as I always had them next to each other, and they were freaking hard to get into, that way.  FYI, a banded pull up is such.  I also have been pushing myself to speed up, a little.  That's my worst area.  I can do the weight lifting, and I can do the technical stuff.  But I am not very fast.  And I don't care to be.  But I have to get to a point where I get just a tad of a rush from being fast or finishing on time, because that will push me.  I do have to admit, when I miss a workout by just a few reps, I feel really frustrated about it.  And I want to avoid that feeling.

Things are well.  My life is good.  I'm happy.

"Livin in the Moment" by Jason Mraz

No video for this song yet, but it doesn't really need one.  The message is so simple and poignant.  I would like to think that I do this fairly well, but as of late, I have been hung up on this and that.  I recently took (most of) a week from work, and it was great to sleep, spend time with family, and get a few things done that have been staring at me on my "to do" list for weeks.  My current living situation is that during the week I live with a married couple (met the wife in grad school) and their 6 year old daughter to be closer to work.  They are the ones who introduced me to Crossfit, and to Cornerstone.  So, when I go home to my condo (where my parents also live) on the weekends or when I take off from work, I don't generally go to my normal box (it's 45 minutes away vs 10 minutes).  Anyways, I attempted to complete some at home workouts, which include mostly cardio, as I do not have access to bars at my community gym.  At best, I have a 20 lb kettle bell, but it mostly consists of low maintenance movements (squats, burpees, sit ups, push ups, planks, arm bars/windmills, lunges, Russian twists, jump roping).  I did that only a couple of times, and I did attempt to do some pull ups and knees to chest on the local monkey bars, but it was just a tad low.  I enjoyed working out at home, but I really do thrive when others are around me, either suffering with me or inspiring me to do better.

I managed to make it to Crossfit last Thursday for the 1000am class, and it was taught by the head coach, Jen.  Consisted of:

For time--
1000m row
25 pistols (basically a one legged squat, and you have to do both sides to count as 1 rep)
15 hcpl (hang power cleans)

And then, back squats 3reps x 5 times every 3 minutes.  New 3 rep max.

My row time has improved immensely (500m in 1:41, vs 2:19 a couple months ago, and then 1000m in 4:37).  I like rowing, but it can be high intensity.  The pistols I had to scale by sitting on a bench, because I just go all the way down or not down far enough without it.  I am somewhere between needing the bench and not needing it.  Hopefully next time, I won't need it for the whole time.  The hcpl weren't bad.  I completed the whole thing in 12:10 and I cleaned 85lbs I believe.  I had to throw a couple of back squats, but nice guys helped me out.  It was a really successful class, and I like having all the time in the world to take.  That's what I would do if I were a housewife. :o)

And then the weekend came, and I visited a friend in Bowling Green, OH.  A typical college town with good eats, and way too much junk for Angie!  I was cranky from the massive amounts of cereal, naan, basmati rice, chips and queso, and pizza that I ate.  It was all wonderfully delicious, but I paid for it, literally--emotionally--physically.

But I came back to work this week, ready to Crossfit it everyday and get back in my game.  I took last night off to revel in one more evening of drinking tea and watching Netflix.  And I came back, today.  I made poor dietary choices again, as I had leftover steak for breakfast (which was not the problem), but it was the 3 mini Snickers bars and 2 Halloween cookies I had for the rest of the day (and nothing else).  ALL SUGAR.  I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day, but I think it lead to the results of tonight's workout.  Workout was:

400m run and 9-7-5 muscle ups/snatches (Scales: chest to bar x2 or pull ups x3 and lower weight for snatches).  Snatches are a hard movement for me, and I just recently mastered the power snatch (catching the bar in a partial squat).  The full snatch is catching the bar in a below parallel squat.  All in 15:00.  So, I was expected to do 27 pull ups/9 snatches/21 pull ups/7 snatches/15 pull ups/5 snatches.

Followed by Deadlifts 2 reps x 5 every 3 minutes at 90% max weight.

I only did 55 lbs, but I kept falling forward, or falling on my butt.  I managed to break it up into a power snatch and then basically overhead squat it.  Apparently, that is what a lot of people ended up doing.  And I can barely do banded pull ups; I'm still heavy, and I don't have the upper body strength to get my whole body up there.  I was really frustrated with myself and really annoyed.  I couldn't finish in the 15:00 cap, and I only got 49 reps.  My deadlifts were okay.  175 was the highest I went, so I need to establish a new 1 rep max at some point, since my last recorded was 165 and that was 4 months ago.

I kind of threw the bar during deadlifts, and Megan gave me some tips to improve my squat for snatches.  Squats are my thing, but I have been teetering lately, and I don't know why the hell that is.  It's frustrating.  My frustrations are really very mild, but for someone who takes almost everything in stride, it seems big.  I've never left that place feeling so annoyed and frustrated.  I didn't care for it.  I almost always leave that place feeling like I kicked ass, confident, smiley, and even if I didn't get something, like I was really close to being able to.  Not the case, this evening.  My hope is for a better tomorrow, with less sugar, more good foods, and better performance.

I had a good week off; actually had a job offer and received my full certification for my career.  Even though I grumble, I am happy about where I am, and there is always another chance to improve at Crossfit, right? 

"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

Wish I had the music video for this song, but alas no.  It was like monster ballads 80s night at Skinnyfit the other night, and it totally worked!  Pat's video for "Love is a Battlefield" is the first music video I ever watched, and I have loved her (and developed my affinity for the decade in which I was born) ever since.  The other night, we did a series of AMRAPs for Skinnyfit.  I have been going directly from work lately, and barely making it on time.  And the nice thing about Skinnyfit is that it is always a surprise.  They technically try to post the WOD every morning, but sometimes they don't post it until midday or at all.  So, when I used to go at 7am, it was good, because I couldn't talk myself out of it.  That's how Skinnyfit has been.  It was a 5 min AMRAP of 20 DU or 50 singles/10 wall balls/5 toes to bar or knees to chest/1 wall walk.  Followed by a 2 min rest.  Then a 10 min AMRAP.  Followed by a 2 min rest (which turned into 3 min; we must have looked rough!), and then a 15 min AMRAP.  It was toooouuugh.  And it's only as tough as you push yourself.  I don't remember exactly how many rounds I got in, but it was a good one.  Again, Matt, the coach, is incredibly encouraging and helpful.  I didn't manage to do a full on wall walk at all, but I got closer, each time.  Wall balls are still hard for me with the 14 lb ball, but I think they're getting smoother.  Nobody likes wall balls.  They're just easier for some people than others.  My knees to chest felt a lot more precise and controlled this time, which was exciting.  Altogether, a good class.

Yesterday, my day couldn't have gone more smoothly.  I jam packed it with working in two buildings and then doing two workouts.  It started at 630am and went until 930pm, with times of rest in between, but still doing something.  Anyway, I rushed to the 530pm Crossfit class.  I'd never been on a Friday or at 530, and wasn't sure what to expect.  We did Deadlifts at 75% max 5x5 over 20:00.  Followed by AMRAP of holds for 15:00.  The holds were chin over bar (like in a pull up position) or scaled to ring rows (like gymnastic rings) to your chest (at an angle), followed by squat hold, and then a handstand or plank hold.  All for 30 sec each.  I scaled the chin to bar, as I can't even hold it for half a second.  And I scaled the hand stand hold to a head stand hold.  I attempted a hand stand (which I probably haven't done since 3rd or 4th grade), but I have a pretty solid head stand hold.  Was advised to push through my arms and not put all pressure on my neck.  OH, and I fell on my head when I tried the hand stand hold.  Haha.  Good class.  Low key, but good for a Friday.

I then went to a 2 hour Zumbathon in support of breast cancer research at a local high school.  A coworker invited me.  I used to love Zumba; it was my thing in college.  I am not coordinated, but it was fun.  I am not sure if it is because I was tired from Crossfit (unknowingly) or because it was Friday, but the first hour wasn't all that fun.  I wasn't being challenged and I was a little bored, to be honest.  The second hour was much better, and I had more fun trying to keep up with the movements.  Zumba always makes me laugh because I mess up, so often.  I noticed a distinct difference from when I did Zumba in college, though.  It's not that hard, now.  I wasn't breathing hard at all, and I had the strength to hold partial squats and arms at shoulder height for the duration of a song.  So neat to see and notice the difference.

As of yesterday, I think I am finally over the hump of gaining mm and am now losing weight, cause my scale number is consistently going down.  Maybe just a pound or so a week, but it doesn't go up, so to me that shows long-term weight loss.  Very exciting!  I had a Skyline burrito to celebrate.  Haha.

I did not go to Crossfit today, even though I worked in the time.  I started my vacation from work, early, instead.  But I might go try to work on that hand stand!

"Without Me" by Eminem

Yes, I love Em.  I pretended not to like him in middle school because I didn't want to be a "bad kid," and I denied loving him in high school because I wanted to have "expanded" music tastes, I lied about liking him in college because I didn't want to be a sellout.  Seeing as he had just become a "legitimate" artist around the time I was in college, with some actual vocal training it seems.  Anyways, all bets are off.  I'm 26.  I'm barely ashamed of anything.  I love Eminem.  Even though he can be a prick, he doesn't give a shit what you think and he's happy doing his thing, no matter how hurtful, unacceptable, or inappropriate.  I don't always love how bigoted he can be, but he sure can jam.  There has been a lot of Eminem playing this week at the box.  It's like a throw back to my youth (or youthier youth; I'm still young).  Half the songs I forgot I knew, and I almost feel as if I am redeeming my shy, underappreciated (by me) self from way back when.  I was okay then, but I'm cool, now.  I like listening to these songs as a "cool" person.  Cheese-tastic moment, over.

Since my last post, I've gone to Crossfit every day this week (3 days in a row, whoa).  One of the coaches that I like is on his honeymoon, and so I've had Megan and Matt all week, which is cool, because of course I like them, too.  On Monday, we did a really confusing workout, that included cleans, overhead squats, and over the bar burpees (where you jump over a barbell, laterally, between burpees, instead of extending up).  It was a partner workout, and I was paired with a girl named, Angela, who is similar to my ability, but stronger.  Because it was for time, we rushed through, and I have only ever done overhead squats about one time.  And Megan overestimated my strength a little with the cleans.  I cleaned 85lbs and squatted 65 lbs, which felt extremely heavy.  Seeing as I dropped it on my head (lightly) and it's a bit tender, now.  I also could barely go below parallel with the actual squat, which is weird for me, as I can squat much deeper than parallel, and that's the goal with all squats: consistency.  I tried the Rx weight for the cleans, which is 95 lbs for women, and after 1 rep, I got thrown backward, almost on my ass, but not quite.  Speed and coordination still aren't my forte!  We also worked on finding a new 1RM for push presses.  I got 100.  New PR.  I'm still a crossfit baby, so new PRs are coming fairly frequently for me.  But still, it's exciting.  Side note, burpees are a good punishment.  Crossfit Teens were having class at the same time, and the coach had said, "If you say 'shut up' to anyone, you have to do 5 burpees!"  And my friend, Elizabeth, who in retort to her husband's intentionally encouraging, but seemingly rude comment, said, "Shut up!" and was made to do the burpees.  So effective.  Haha.

Yesterday, we warmed up with a 400m run and 10 wall climbs.  I didn't do a single complete wall climb, but I'm getting more proficient with them.  My goal right now is to do at least 2 real ones everytime we have them in the workout.  We started with a 5min AMRAP.  With such a short amount of time, you are really encouraged to just give it your all and rest at the end.  It was 50 wall balls/15 toes to bar (or knees to chest, which is what I did), and your score was the total number of reps.  It was only the second time I had used the Rx wgt medicine ball for wall balls (14 lbs), as I usually wimp out and use 8 lbs.  My knees to chest looked a lot better, though, and they felt a lot better.  I stopped probably four times for a count of 5.  And I hit myself in the face with the medicine ball.  I also can't get it to the Rx height of 10 feet.  I get it barely 7 feet, sometimes.  But I'm gonna stick with the 14 lb ball and work on form and strength from here on out, not so much finishing.  Final score: 77 reps.  After that, we did not max out for back squats, but did 5 sets of 5 at 75%.  I did 85-95 lbs.  Those felt good; not hard, but okay.  My trap mm were killing today, but in a good, sore way.  Like, "Hey, I didn't know you were gonna use me for anything, ever!" said Angie's trap mm.  Megan also lead us through some hip mobility stretches with the large bands around the poles and stretching out the hard to stretch hip mm.  I liked them, but felt as if I was going to fling myself into the metal pole, which thankfully didn't happen.

Today, I went to the evening class and there were only 4 other people.  Which was great, because Matt, could really help us each with encouragement and technique.  We did 1 power snatch and 2 overhead squats every minute for 20 minutes.  I misread my notebook and thought I had only ever done snatches 1x, and that I only used the women's bar (35 lbs), so he suggested I start with the training bar (15 lbs) and build up with that.  So, I started with 35, and escalated to 70 by the 5 lbs over the 20 attempts.  However, I couldn't get 75 lbs.  What I actually snatched the last time, was 60 lbs, and I couldn't get 65 lbs, and that was 3 months ago.  So, the only difference, is that I may have started a little higher in the beginning, but since I couldn't get the 75 lbs, maybe 70 lbs really would have been my max, anyway.  It doesn't really matter, it was actually probably good for me to work on my form with the lower weights, seeing as snatches are really difficult for m.  I have a large chest, and the thrusting movement to get the bar above my head, just does not come naturally and my chest gets in the way (Side note: during my foundations classes, where I was first learning all the movements, I shared this sentiment with the head coach, Jen, and she had said she once had a client who had breast implants, and so in an effort to help her with her snatch technique, she googled, "big boob snatch," and DID NOT get what she was hoping to find!  Haha!), and I remember feeling insecure about my snatches, so you know what, I am glad I started low.  I felt really good about each attempt tonight, even if I did drop it a couple of times.  I was a little nervous about doing overhead squats, too, since I dropped it on my head the other night.  But Matt was able to watch me, and said it all looked great.  Yay!  After that, we did 100 pull aparts (imagine a large rubberband you hold out in front of you and then stretch apart) and 20 windmills/arm with a moderate weight kettle bell.  All good mobility stuff.

Having a good week.  I hope it continues.  I keep eating the Halloween candy that my manager has in the office.  Even with that, I am feeling good.  Angie <3 Crossfit.

"Middle of Nowhere" by Hot Hot Heat

Another song from my past.  Came out in 2005, which is when I graduated high school.  And it played tonight at Skinnyfit.  The musical tastes of one of the coaches is similar to me from 5-10 years ago, and I thoroughly enjoy it.  Tonight, we did a "Deck of Death" where each suit in a deck of cards represents a different movement, and the number indicates how many reps we have to do.  Sounds tough, right?  The thing is, it was a brand new deck, and not shuffled very well.  Also, it was originally presented with a 30:00 cap with a "then..." afterward, which turned out to be, THE REST OF THE DECK!  Movements as follows...

spades-squats
hearts-burpees
diamonds-push ups
clubs-sit ups
face cards =10
aces=400m run
jokers=200m farmer walks

Holy hell!  It was the longest almost 40:00 I've experienced in a while!  Doing the math, we did a total of (2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+10+10+10) 84 of each movement x4 =334 total reps!  Yowza.  And because it wasn't shuffled well, we ran into this frequently, "2 push ups! 3 push ups! 4 push ups! 8 push ups!"  I generally one of the last three to finish most of the movements.  Thankfully, I catch up a little on squats, and I was given a scale of running 200m after the first one.  Which, I probably didn't need, but it was appreciated.  It was fun not to think though, and to have someone else be in charge.  I think Matt had a little too much fun with it, though.  He looked way too happy. :o)  Another day, another successful workout.  Getting closer to my goals, even though my scale stays about the same.  I still feel like I am making progress in gaining muscle, strength, agility, and endurance.  And I feel as if I am getting long-term results. 

My eating habits have continued to be good.  Gave the rest of my Halloween candy I got in Disney world to my friend's daughter.  Now I can't bring myself to take candy from a child.  I hope.  Literally, today, I had to verbally coach myself out loud to drive past the fast food restaurants when I was going between buildings for work.  I have only had one infraction on the fast food front in 3 weeks.  Which doesn't sound like a lot, but honestly, there were weeks I ate fast food 5x.  Completely in secret.  In my car.  Shamefully.  

Those days are over, but I won't forget them.  I also want to share this Buzzfeed list about fast food, because I have been torn about what kind of "diet" to follow, and I have determined that the first and most important thing to do is to eat as few processed foods as possible.  Paired with eating whole foods (a base of fruits, vegetables, lean meat), followed by only a little dairy, occasional whole grain, and rarely sugar.  Plus, I still find myself craving Wendy's for some reason.  Baby steps, right!?

I have found a good substitute for the crunchy and salty instead of potato chips, tortilla chips, and pretzels (plantain chips, terra or root vegetable chips, nut crackers), the crunchy in general [sidenote:if you know me personally, you would know that I LOVE crunchy foods] (raw almonds and cashews), pasta (I go without or use spaghetti squash or other vegetable pasta stand ins), ice cream (which I don't eat often anyway, but I have turned to buying Almond Dream dessert products; can be expensive, but yummo.  Also, if it's expensive, I will buy it less.  I don't want to buy crappy junk food.  I want the good stuff to splurge on), and I have pretty much eliminated dairy except for cheese, the occasional sour cream, and a McDonald's soft serve (which I already only eat a couple of times a year).  Eating less cereal has been hard to do, but I'm not looking to cut out all grains.  Just mostly.  My last major feat is finding a good bread, and I am eager to try this paleo bread.  I no longer get uncontrollable hunger pangs and binge eat on junk, and I really enjoy the clean feeling of the food I am eating.  Each day is a struggle, but it is getting easier and easier.

"She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd

Lately, I have been listening to things on my iPod from high school and college.  Feeling very youthful and spry.  This song was definitely played nearly every morning for half of my senior year in high school.  Such a classic badass song.  Can't wait for it to be played on an oldies station in the years to come. :o)

I spent five days in Orlando, FL visiting Walt Disney World.  Prior to that, I completed a Skinnyfit class last week that was a partner workout, but my partner had to leave right before it started, and so I did it by myself.  And in all honesty, I don't think I pushed myself as hard because there was no one waiting for me!  Here's the workout:

Partner 1: 400m with sandbag (20-30 lbs)
Partner 2: Run 100m/25 American KBS/Run 100m/25 sit ups

These are done simultaneously, but you must start at the same time.  So the fast ones get to break, more!  I completed almost 4 total rounds in 30 minutes.  The coach had created this workout at the last minute, and we kind of gave him grief about kicking our asses, but he said, and very profoundly, "I'm not kicking your guys' asses.  You get out of this what you put in."  Duh.  I have to remember that.  The coaches are around to push us and encourage us, but it's ultimately up to me to push myself past my limits and to where I never thought possible.

I tried my best (well, kinda) to do some homemade WODs while on vacation, and only managed to do it one time.  However, I am proud of myself of how well I resisted junk.  I allowed myself one treat a day and brought my own water bottle.  I filled up on fruit, eggs, and bacon for breakfast.  Brought almond crackers and raw cashews to munch on during the day, which my friend (who also struggles with weight and fitness) also ate some of!  At dinner, I avoided rolls and had only a few bites of dessert.

I came back and attended book club, which is hosted by one of the crossfit coaches.  It was lovely to be in the socializing aspect of this box.  I like having intelligent conversations and having a relationship beyond them seeing me look like hell, and me seeing them as a teacher.  We talked about the transformations some of the clients at Crossfit Cornerstone have undergone and how much their bodies and demeanors have changed for the better.  I was more than ready to get back to my box after vacation!  The people I vacationed with are sometimes negative, and you just don't get that at Crossfit! 

 

The first day I came back, the posted workout online must have been in error (or a blatant lie!) because I walked in and the people in the class before me looked like they were working way harder than I had prepared to.  Turned out to be establishing a new 1RM of split jerks within 20 attempts followed by "Fran" (21-15-9: thrusters, which are from a squat to overhead, and pull ups, or jumping pull ups) with a 10:00 cap.  Followed by shoulder mobility of 20 windmills with a moderate weight.
I hit a new PR (personal record) for split jerks, 115.  The last time we did split jerks, I couldn't get it past 105.  So, I was pretty excited about that!  Then we did "Fran," and I felt that, for sure!  It got to the point where I could only do 2 thrusters at a time and I had to keep cleaning the entire barbell from the ground.  The prescribed weight for this WOD is 95 for women/135 for men.  I did 75 lbs and finished at 8:48.  We all kinda felt like badasses.  Haha.  It was a hard one, but I liked it.

Today, we focused on back squats in a 5-3-1-1-1 at 75%-85%-95%-100%-100%+ weight.  I hadn't done a back squat for a PR since this past May, so I had a skewed sense of what I could do.  I just started with 75 lbs, and ended up finishing at 125 lbs.  And honestly, I could have gone more, but we didn't have time to max out.  Especially since all that was followed by "Grace" (30 clean and jerks).  Rx wgt 135/95.  I have done "Grace" before in May, and at that time I did 55 lbs and finished in 6:09.  Tonight, I did 65 lbs and finished in 5:42.  I was proud of myself for that!  I probably could have gone heavier, too, because I noticed that some others were breathing way harder than I was! A friend of mine, he did Rx weight and finished barely before the 10:00 cap.  Everyone struggles sometimes and everyone succeeds sometimes in Crossfit. The coach tonight, Brandon, admitted that he hated the cardio portion of Crossfit and was purely a strength trainer, which explains why he can snatch 300 lbs and does Olympic weight lifting.  But, again, it's nice to know these coaches outside of their "coach" personas.  So glad to be back in the game!

"Welcome to the Jungle" Guns n Roses

A true classic.  I also hail from Cincinnati, and it has something to do with the Bengals, eh?  But, I don't care about that.  This song blasted over the speakers last Saturday at the 2nd Voice of America (VOA) Crossfit games, sponsored by my current box, Crossfit Cornerstone.  And as I understand it, it was a huge success!  The day consisted of a Masters (above 40 division), an open (anyone), and the Firebreathers (elite), divided by men and women.  I won't go into detail about all of the events (running up a huge hill with a 50-70 lb sand bag, burpees/front squats, cleans, pull ups, push ups, double unders, snatches, sit ups), but there were 3 sections and each event lasted less than 15 min/piece.  It was a very intense, but drawn out day.  There were about 100 competitors, at all levels.  I saw a woman in her 50s, a boy in his teens, and plenty of people in between.  I came as a spectator and cheerleader.  It was immensely fun to cheer on fellow Cornerstone crossfitters and to see the expanded community of Crossfit participants.  The day was gorgeous, and it is really something to see a woman clean a new weight and do a happy dance in the middle of the competition.  I would say they all pushed themselves to the point of almost puking and new physical feats.  In the future, when I have children, I want them to not only participate in team sports (it's good to feel humiliated once in a while and learn about teamwork), but also individual sports.  It's how adults mostly compete in the real world, and it really builds a sense of confidence and comradery.  They also had a Passion 4 Paleo booth there selling delicious food, free massages, frozen yogurt, and a yoga booth.  I hope to go to this event (as both a spectator and competitor, one day) for many years to come. 

Today, I went to Crossfit and the WOD was similar to the first event from Saturday:

Warm up: 800m run/10 wall walks/15 strict pull ups/15 strict dips 15:00 cap
**I completed 5 REAL wall walks, and I felt so much stronger.  I am not as afraid of falling anymore, and I used to only be able to go up from the push up and just stay there for about a half a second.  I did "strict" dips with a band, but didn't go all the way up.  I require too many bands at this point.  Plus, it's hard to get into those things, alone!  Didn't get to the strict dips.

Then we did a 21-15-9 with a 10:00 cap: sandbag front squats/lateral burpees

Followed by a 10:00 squat hold.

It doesn't seem like a lot, but I didn't finish my last 4 burpees, and I barely laterally jumped.  I stepped over, a lot.  I Rxed with a 50 lb bag at first, but dropped to 40 lbs for the 2nd and 3rd sets.  I easily could have finished (in a class of 5 people, I was the only person not to), but it was freaking hard!  And I didn't do as well with my squat hold as I would have liked.  The loss of blood to my lower body really made my thighs and insteps scream with burning!  But I'm so glad to be into this.

I have really been challenging myself to eat well and not let hunger become a beast the past week or so, and I feel so good about it.  I was always that person who would say, I'll just eat half, and end up eating way more.  I am not the kind of person who is good at eating just one bite of a delicious dessert, but I can be.  I went to Chipotle tonight, and I ordered a bol with no rice.  And amazingly, I didn't miss it.  It was still delicious and filling.

I am headed to Disney World in a couple of days (eeks on eating healthy, right?), but I am going to be very conscious about "treating" myself seldom, and truly enjoying this treats.  I also planned WODs I can do out by the pool in the  mornings before we get going.  I'm very excited.  The vacation part is being away from work and being in Disney World.  It's also taking it a little easy on the Crossfit (after all, I won't have as much equipment to use) and splurging now and then.  But eating and lazing myself into complete misery will not allow me to enjoy my trip, anyway.  And junk food makes me cranky!

Things are definitely looking and staying up!

"Wrecking Ball" Miley Cyrus

I wouldn't blame you if you never read this blog again because of Miley.  Totally understandable, and I kind of hate myself for giving this ridiculousness life, but so be it!  Did Skinnyfit tonight with Matt, who blasts music, and as far as I can tell, has the closest taste in music to my own, because yes...I already know the freaking words to this song I've heard 3x (voluntarily).  It's really fun for me to have crazy music on, even if it's not something I like, because it gives me something else to focus on besides the fact that I feel like I am dying.  Tonight's workout was a doozy.

400m run
100 burpees
400m run
100 wall ball
400m run
100 push ups
400m run
100 sit ups
400m run

40:00 cap

No typos above, except that it was a partner workout!  We both had to do the running (or rowing) and then switch off in different intervals to complete the other tasks.  I went with an 8 lbs ball for wall balls, and I struggled with the pushups.  I worked with a woman named Ashley, who says she used to do Crossfit and then sat on her couch for a year, and is just now getting back into it.  She is still way faster than me.  I ended up being the last one to finish (36:49), but Ashley, Matt, and some others were cheering me on.  Always a plus!  I usually would have psyched myself out, but because someone else was waiting on me, I never really stopped.  And now I ache all over, but I am tremendously happy that I went.

"Girls" by the Beastie Boys

RIP Adam Yauch

 

 

A classic!  This song brings me back to high school, and I used to play it on my mp3 player that only held 25 songs.  Beastie Boys held one of those precious spots.  Last night at the box, they played amazing music (Run DMC, Beastie Boys, etc), but there were only 2 men and 6 women, so this song seemed most appropriate.  And it turned out to work for today, too!  I'll get to that.

 

Yesterday, I went with Elizabeth to Crossfit with the intention of staying for Skinnyfit afterward, except I underestimated the WOD.  It was a hero WOD named for soldier, Travis Manion, who was killed while serving in Iraq several years ago.

 

7 Rounds for Time:

400 m run

29 back squats (Rx: 135/95)

 

30:00 cap

 

It was a LOOONG 30 minutes!  I only complete 4 rounds with 65 lbs.  That's a total of 1600m run and 116 squats.  I probably could have pushed harder, but my butt and thighs were feeling it, today.

 

Today, was another named WOD, "Nasty Girls."  Brandon (coach) said it was named as such because it contains elements of 3 WODs with women's names. (Why girls' names?)

 

3 Rounds for Time:

 

50 squats

7 muscle ups

10 hang power cleans

 

20:00 cap

 

Followed by Tabata (20 seconds on/10 seconds off) of alternating plank and superman.  It was a small class, so I can't decide if I like going in the evening better or the morning.

 

I scaled my weight to 65 lbs and did knees to chest for muscle ups, which is a scale for toes to bar, which is a scale for muscle up transitions.  (We use rings, not bars), so needless to say, I'm far from where I "should" or want to be.  But I felt like a beast.  Finished at 14:27.  I loved tonight's workout, honestly!  It came up that I was tempted to go to Taco Bell earlier today, and the coach said, "Just so you know your coaches are human.  Frank came in here the other day and said, 'You guys, I have to tell you something.  I don't know why, but I had to stop on the way here.  I ordered 2 whoppers, fries, coke....it was terrible, but I ate it all."  Haha!  Nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles.  In fact, a much fitter gentleman said "Good job!" for resisting fast food and says he eats Graeter's ice cream every night. We bond in so many ways.

 

And since it was a small class, this came up, too...the four person push up.  I didn't partake, and they attempted twice, having gotten up for just a second.  But so cool.  I feel like I love doing Crossfit more and more and I love the community aspect of it, more.

 

Note, last week we did a 5 min workout (3:00 wall balls/2:00 burpees).  Timmy, another coach, had us pair up so we could count reps for each other.  I ended up doing a lot more than I thought, even though I took a lot of breaks and felt like I was dying.  67 wall balls/14 burpees.  And also, in that class, a girl (whose name I don't even know), stayed back and ran with me during the warm up.  I was with a bunch of people (bunch being 6) I didn't usually crossfit with, but it still felt welcoming.  I've never felt this confident or outgoing in a gym setting.  And I NEVER wanted to talk to anyone at the gym before.  Nice to have nice firsts.

 

 

"Gangsters' Paradise" by Coolio

A classic!  This song is so badass, even after all these years.  This song came out when I was in 3rd grade, I believe.  And I love this song as much as I did as an 8 year old.  Anyways, it was like old school music day at Crossfit.  Today, for only the second time, I did two workouts!

First, WOD:

21-15-9: Shoulder to Overhead (S2OH) and Toes to Bar (TTB) 10 minute cap
I scaled this to do 55 lbs and only knees to chest.  I didn't even finish.  I missed the last 9 reps, but I am really super bad at TTBs.  It's a goal of mine to be able to do them, well.

Did I mention the 800m run and 10 wall walk WARM UP?  Yikes.

After the 21-15-9, then we did 15 split jerks EMOTMx15 minutes.  That's freaking hard.  I couldn't max out, or even reach my last PR (105 lbs).  But I worked with Empho, and she was really encouraging and positive. 

Then, for some reason, I decided to stay for Skinnyfit, which was:

Tabata Russian KB swings
Tabata Jump Rope
Tabata Med Ball Thrusters
Tabata Sit Ups

Followed by 10 min AMRAP of 200m partner runs

Matt had us work outside and I like Tabata because I don't have to think about reps or endurance.  You just push as hard as you can for 20 sec at a time.  I had some trouble with my instep with the jump roping (Asian flat feet are a buzzkill to Crossfit, sometimes).  When I came home, I rolled my feet on a frozen lacrosse ball, and they seem to have calmed down.  The Tabata was hard, but it's only 16 minutes total, just a tough 16 minutes.  Elizabeth stayed with me, too, and we partnered for the 200m runs.  I did 4 rounds, and she did 5.  I ran hard.  I usually wimp out into a jog, but I kept my pace up, pretty well.  Matt noticed that I was using a better format to run.  One of the many reasons I love Crossfit is the fact that the coaches actually coach, and they coach everyone.  At a gym, I would feel lost and totally independent, but at this box, it's a team.

Ate well, today. Ate consciously.  Didn't overeat at all.  Needed more water.

Slow process, but I'm getting there!

"Drop it like it's Hot!"

So, I have never enjoyed this song, whatsoever.  And I'm almost embarrassed that it exists.  But, it made tonight very funny to me.  I went to the 730pm WOD with my friend, Elizabeth.  It was fairly simple:

500m row for time
3:00 minute couch stretch for each leg
Front Squats 2 reps x5 every 3 min at 90% max weight (aka FSQ 5x2 E3M @ 90% PR)

My max FSQ weight is 113 lbs, and I only did it once, a few months ago.  So, I started with 95 lbs, and worked my way up to 105 lbs.  One of the coaches, Brandon (who does a great job; he really helps with technique and is attentive...he pushes without being pushy), was watching and said I had a great squat.  Which was nice to hear.  I have never been athletically inclined to do anything except fall spectacularly.  Now, I claim "almost sitting" as my athletic talent.  Also, it's weird yet oddly calming to have a guy look at your backside completely objectively.  Side note, Elizabeth was complaining about back pain which was determined to come from poor positioning when doing movements that require cleans, and that she uses her back more than her legs and hips.  To fix this, she was advised to drop her butt lower in starting position, and Brandon told her to "Drop it like she squats!" in reference to me, and to the tune of the aforementioned Snoop Dogg classic. #CrossfitComedy

I've also resorted to eating better.  I am a stress eater.  A bored eater.  A "avoid work by having a snack" eater.  I can come up with any excuse to have a snack.  BUT I have reeled it in.  I eat when hungry.  I stop when almost full, and I know this just by listening to my body.  I threw out the little treats in my pantry that I don't even really enjoy, but have kept because someone dumped it on me or I don't want to waste it.  But out it went.  That's not to say I'll never have candied pineapple or Hershey kisses again, but if I treat that food like a "treat" and make it more difficult to obtain it, eating it will be rare and more rewarding in the future.  It's difficult to buy food for a single person.  I often find I have some leftover food that I get sick of eating.  It felt good to get rid of that junk.

"Take Me Home Tonight" -Eddie Money

I love this song, and I will forever think of an instance in college when I hear it.  I was in my American History 110 class of about 15 people (which was a series of reading books about different areas in the country and then talking about how they were still relevant...one of my favorite college classes, by far), when a girl's cell phone started ringing and this played so loud and so clear.  I knew she would be a good person to work in group with.  Haha.  I met a lot of interesting people in that class, and I wonder what they are all doing, at times.  Aaaanyway, this song played last night during Skinnyfit (30 min AMRAP-200m run/10 American KB swings/10 box jumps/10 sit ups), and it gave me a little extra push to go a little faster.  I'm finally back into going to Crossfit regularly again, and there is a new coach there, who is super nice, helpful, and encouraging.  I can't say it enough, my Crossfit people are so damn nice and supportive.  Met a couple of new members, too.  Which is always, exciting.

Tonight, the Crossfit WOD was 1 split jerk, EMOTMx15, gradually adding weight.  Followed by 20 min AMRAP of 1 dead lift/1 power clean/1 front squat/1 jerk, and then 2 of them, and then 3, and so on.  It was a pretty tough workout, but I actually enjoyed it.  And, because I'm a masochist of sorts, I ran a couple of miles afterward in this hot summer night air.  It was a nice run, actually.  It allowed me to cool down and just have a little time to myself.  I feel so psyched about my health right now, because I am finally in a place where the stress of my life doesn't override my abilities to make good decisions and to stick with them.  I am so fortunate that I can just concentrate on becoming fit and healthy.  I feel more confident just thinking about it.  I used to be one of those girls who wore baggy clothes and tried to work out when the least amount of people were there, trying to blend in.  Now, I push myself to wear fitting clothes so that I cannot hide from myself or others.  It's a small thing, but it does affect the way I present myself.  I also wanted to share this video that I found, last night.  It's spot on and inspiring.  I hope to be able to tell a story like DK one day!  She's a beautiful person who is confident, strong, and positive.  Plus, she looks like a "real" woman! :)

"When Doves Cry"- Prince

 

 

For whatever reason, really slow 80s and 90s music played at Crossfit, tonight.  I took a long hiatus from Crossfit (and an even longer one from this blog!), but I'm back.  Life got in the way, but I've prioritized, now.  I have been doing Crossfit for about four months now, and the progress has ironically been fast and slow.  I haven't lost a ton of weight, but I am definitely stronger.  I could probably punch you in the face and it would hurt.  My body is getting tighter, and my clothes are a little bit looser.  I fall off the bandwagon fairly frequently nutrition wise, but I always pay the consequences with some heartburn afterward.  I'm so happy to be back, and to have this positive force in my life again.  My life is good, no complaints here.  Crossfit (among other things) makes it better.  And it is one of those forces that makes ALL other aspects of my life, better.  And I have forgotten how nice and encouraging people can be.  In all honesty, I  have probably put off going back to Crossfit because I am still insecure at times.  But, no matter.  The coach (who I've never taken a class with, yet), was awesome.  He actually paid attention to me so that I could get the most beneficial work out in 30 min.  And the other Crossfitters, helping me into bands for pull ups, putting my weights away for me, encouraging me as they pass me in the run...small things that speak large volumes.  Anyways, hopefully I keep up with this thing for the foreseeable future.  Can't wait to become even stronger and fitter!  Tonight's workout wasn't so bad...

 

13 min: 1 mi run/AMRAP wall walks (which I've gotten pretty good at, if I do say so, myself)

2 min rest
15 min: 1 mi run/AMRAP 10 sit ups and 5 pull ups (banded for scale)

"Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton

I am not a huge rap/hip hop fan or whatever genre you would classify Macklemore and Ryan Lewis as, but I sure do love them.  This song in particular.  I can't help but feel energized when I hear this song, and it makes me feel unstoppable, as corny as that is.  I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted, but life got in the way.  During that time, I completed the 10k and 10mi runs of the Louisville Triple Crown, visited a few friends in NYC, moved my parents to a new condo, and rededicated myself to Crossfit.

I battled some foot/toe trouble and being sick trouble with those last two runs, and after I crossed the finish line, I determined that running just isn't that fun for me anymore.  It has become more laborious, boring, and sometimes, a total drag.  I have not run since, and probably won't until June.  I have promised to run with my friends in their first 5k's at the end of June, and I won't be the one to slow them down!

Now that life has settled down, I have the opportunity to concentrate on my health again.  In the month of April, I made a vow with three other girlfriends to ban fried foods (define as you wish).  And every indiscretion cost me $2.  As of April 30, I owed my friends $24.  Do the math.  I consider my diet to be fairly healthy, but what I realized, is that I allow myself to cheat way more than can really be called cheating, and not just a bad habit.  This month, myself and 2 of the other girls are banning sugar (refined sugar that is; trying to cut out all sugar would be SO expensive and get in the way of the point, which is to be aware of what we are putting into our bodies).  The other girl is continuing her fried food ban, as she also was not so successful in April.  Although, she is going on two vacations this month, so I'm not sure how it will go.  Haha.

As for Skinnyfit/Crossfit, I have managed to complete some wall walks (not all the way, but to about a 45 degree angle), and can tell that I am stronger in my arms and legs.  My core still is weak, and I cannot pump out as many reps as quickly as everyone else.  But I keep going, and it's getting to be a regular part of my life, which makes it harder to avoid.

Just this week, my friend (who I live with) and I began the foundations classes.  Which consist of teaching proper technique for all the Crossfit moves.  We have gone two days now (out of six) at 700am, and have learned to squat, jump rope, row, do sit ups, do push ups, back squats, front squats, overhead squats, couch stretches, and squat holds (holding a squat for a lengthened period of time...we did 3 minutes 2x today).  I really enjoy the Crossfit program in that I actually get 1:1 time with the head coach who can show me what I am doing wrong, and how to perfect it, all the while being supportive, and meeting where I am.  Her name is Jen, and she has a way of nudging, without pushing.  Maybe that will change in the months to come, but as a nervous beginner, I appreciate it.  She also stated that she thinks going to Skinnyfit has helped us build some strength.  Skinnyfit is by no means easy, but it is more cardio vs strength training. 

While I am not one to be athletically inclined in any way, I am inclined to work hard.  She also said I have good squat positioning.  Who knew "almost sitting" could be a skill??

"Anna Sun" by Walk the Moon

This band hails from the great Porkopolis, (or Cincinnati, OH, for those of you who did not have to take their local history in 8th grade).  This song is all about being young, having fun, living life to the fullest, and not worrying about the physical consequences of things (they're just materials).  Also, the song has an uplifting melody and when I am trying to run as fast as I can for 30 seconds or get through 5 more burpees, this song can get me through it.  I need to remember the lyrics of this song when I am feeling down on myself or feeling overwhelmed, which happens quite frequently these days.

I went through a slump last week; I wanted to just lay in bed.  I justified not working out by doing laundry and finally organizing all of my music and pictures.  But, this week, I'm back.  Elizabeth and Aaron (the couple who I live with) are getting more and more into the Paleo diet.  I have mixed feelings about it because I don't think any diet that cuts out entire food groups can be very long-lasting.  But the idea of clean eating in general, I can get on board with.  I have a friend, who is largely against the Paleo diet and thinks that eating like "hunters and gatherers" is an idea of the past, and that those who follow Paleo should also have to go without modern medicine.  Ha!

I have definitely cleaned up my eating this week.  For breakfast, I typically have fruit, some almond milk, and maybe peanut butter on my banana.  For lunch, it's typically frozen vegetables, greek yogurt, cereal (for crunch and part of the little bit of carbs I allow myself for the day!), more fruit, and a crunchy, carby snack).  Dinner includes a salad, protein, probably cheese of some sort, and 1 sweet treat.  It's not a perfect diet, but that's okay, because I am not dieting.  I am leading a healthy lifestyle.  Basically, I am reducing all sodium, sugar, refined grains, oil, and meat products in my life.  Last week, I went off the deep end, eating junk food in my car, and stuffing my face with crackers, bread, and noodles.  I was probably the grumpiest, fatigued person around.  I've learned my lesson. 

This weekend is the second leg of the Louisville Triple Crown Races.  On March 9th, I ran in the Anthem 5k with my friend, Kate, and her friend, Ron (a 45 year old firefighter who is in way better shape than I am!).  For the first time, my time was under 12 min miles.  It is tiring driving to and from Louisville for 8am races, but I will be very proud of myself when it is over.  This weekend's race is the Rodes City 10k.  I have ran 6, 7, 10, 13 miles before, but never have challenged myself to be that fast.  My goal for this weekend is 11:30 miles.  My training schedule has been weak, but I do believe I can do it.  Having people to run with me definitely gets me amped up.

Tonight, I went for a brisk run before my Skinnyfit class (which I had skipped for a week, and I really am so glad to be back).  Tonight wasn't really brutal, but it was very tiring.

A 400m run, THEN

every minute on the minute, for 30 minutes,

4 burpees and whatever combination of the following to reach 100 each:

box jumps
squats
sit-ups
KB swings (American style, which means all the way over your head)

I got halfway through, but towards the end, it was taking me so long to do 4 burpees, that I was doing them every 2 minutes.  Constant movement for a solid 30 minutes, and I pushed hard.  It felt great.

I have been feeling a little anxiety, depression, and fatigue.  I think a lot of it is psychological, but now that I've started a better physical routine, I believe my mental health will take a turn for the better, too.  I have re-defined my purpose.  It's great to be back!

"Lights" -Ellie Goulding

I actually hate this song.  I have never liked it, but due to my inability to avoid pop music in the car, I've heard it a million times and know all the words.  I'll explain this ironic choice in a few.  I haven't been posting as regularly, because as you know, life gets in the way.  The good news is, I am continuing to go to Skinnyfit and my month of races, began last weekend.

I ventured to Columbus, OH, to visit a couple of friends from grad school and to participate in The Survival Race ( Survival Race---yes, that is Arnold's voice), thanks to Groupon and a shared interest in doing themed 5ks (we also did the Color Me Rad race last summer in Cincinnati, which was SUPER FUN!).  It was below freezing and snowing, but we all managed to finish the race and complete all 16ish obstacles.  I lost my shoes a few times and had to be shoved over one obstacle, but getting muddy was fun. 

I am also currently registered for Louisville's Triple Crown Race (Louisville Triple Crown---neigh), whose first race of three (a 5k, 10k, 10mi) starts this upcoming weekend.  My friend, Kate, is running with me.  And I have decided that I am really going to push myself to run this 5k, as fast as I can without passing out (vomiting, dizziness, and keeling over are acceptable).  I won't die, and I'll feel amazing afterward.

Tonight, I went to Skinnyfit after not having been there for a week.  The regulars were there, and a few newbies.  The workout consisted of a ladder...that pretty much never ended.

30 min cap:

 

1medicine ball squat clean
1 thruster
1 upright row (couldn't find a video, but you are doubled over and drop the med ball from your chest to the ground)

AND THEN, you do the whole set 2x, then 3x, and so on until the cap is up.  Also, if you dropped the ball, it was 5 push-ups (which I didn't see anyone do, but I did see people sitting on the ground holding their balls).  This workout really got me sweating.  I have been having some issues because of my flat instep (blame 100s of years of genetics), and my squats have been half-assed.  The instructors there were so helpful, and not rude at all, about helping me to perfect my form so that I don't strain my back muscles, really work my core, and so that I am focusing on the correct movements.  I made it to 20x, and I really did push for 95% of the time.  The instructor even had me squat for an extended period of time (in what's known as a "third world squat") to help stretch out the ligaments in my knees.  It felt really good to get that far.

And it turned out to be a very uplifting evening, as well.  One of the women who comes pretty regularly (sometimes with her husband; they are probably in their 40s), told me that she noticed I had gotten so much stronger.  And I told her thanks, of course.  But that the method behind me having the energy to keep going is, I don't look at the timer (otherwise, I'd just stare at it), and I face towards the group of people in the room to be inspired by their continued movement (as well as looks of utter pain on their faces).  She told me that she felt the roles were reversed and that my confidence, inspired her.  Wow, what a compliment!  I sometimes struggle to the point that I lay in my bed in denial until the last minute before leaving for my workout class.  Every day, I am tired.  Every day, I could find other things to do.  Every day, I want to just sit on my butt and watch Netflix.  BUT, tonight, reminded me that yes, I am primarily on this road to losing weight and getting fit for the sake of health.  But what I had forgotten is that I am also going to gain so much more along the way, namely, confidence, increased endurance, inner strength, and the attitude that I can do anything. 

My scale doesn't look that different than it did a month ago, but I do feel stronger.  And I do feel as if my body is a little tighter.  It's going to be a long road, but I never have and never will, take the easy way out.  Being healthy is plain hard work at its finest.  I've worked hard mentally and emotionally, and I can certainly do it, physically.

Now as for why this dumb Ellie Goulding song was my choice for this post...as I was looking around during class wondering how people kept going, this song came on the stereo (not an upbeat song I would have chosen for a workout class, but nonetheless), and I locked eyes with one of the young teenage boys that attends the class, as he was mouthing all the words.  Though we were both struggling, we shared a laugh.  It just reminded me that exercise isn't suffering, but rather hard work, and the relief of laughter belongs anywhere.

"Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys

 

 This spontaneous mash up of "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys and "Daylight" by Maroon 5 is delightful.  Full of messages about being awesome and seizing the moment.  All good things.

Anyways, I feel as if I am still in the beginning stages on my road to a better self, which is ever changing and morphing.  I am trying my best to put my health first, but it feels as if there are all these other pulls in my life that seem just as important (spending time with family, spending time with friends, cleaning my bathroom, helping my parents clean and move to a new home, watching "Girls" and being simultaneously amazed my Lena Dunham's creative genius and annoyed at her character's narcissism, becoming a better speech therapist, making enough money, etc.).  This blog is mostly dedicated to documenting my successes, but I think it's important to understand the road blocks.

Despite the challenges I face and the feeling that there simply just isn't enough time, I have started to look forward to going to Skinnyfit on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  The mere look of the workouts no longer make me nervous, and I find that I am challenging myself to get closer and closer to finishing.  One of my tactics is to rarely look at the clock; this is how I seize the moment.  I already obsess about counting reps, but by avoiding the clock, I don't get bogged down by reality.  Lately, the workouts have been a combination of burpees, box jumps, burpee box jumps, sit ups, pull ups/jump ups, kettle bell swings, squats, wall balls, jump roping, and running.

The three that I can remember go as follows:

-A ladder of box jumps, kettle bell swings, sit ups, squats from 20 all the way down to 1 time.
-10 rounds of  100 m run/10 burpees/10 sit ups/10 plyo lunges (these made my butt hurt, crazily!), followed by a plank as long as possible, and 100 Russian twists
-100 squats/90 sit ups/80 walking lunges/70 push ups/60 burpees/50 kettle bell swings/40 pull ups/30  squats with a med ball (forget what these are called) /20 wall balls/ 10 toes to bar or v-ups.

On the night of the 10 rounds, I actually thought I would make it to finish.  I ended up only finishing the initial 10 rounds, and I was the last person doing them, but I got through the last round with the help of a friend.  There is a 10 year old boy who attends the class with his mom and grandma (who are fit as ever), and he completed them with me.  How refreshing to know there are kids who are nice, encouraging, and unafraid to be a friend. 

I'll get back to being more vigilant about documenting this journey.  But for now, it's enough for me to know that I am getting past that first part that seems really impossible and like I'll get nowhere. 

"Pokemon" Theme Song/Miami University Fight Song

"Pokemon!"

Miami Fight Song---the Atari version!



I had to choose this song, because it was completely refreshing, in a weird way.  I wasn't able to go to Skinnyfit for a few days, and admittedly PMS played a role, but I started back up this week after spending a weekend with a great friend, her dog, and the beautiful Miami University campus in Oxford, OH.  Being a redhawk is one of my greatest accomplishments at this point in my life, and I can never wait to return.  I was able to visit with a student group that I formerly was a part of, and I was able to share my "wisdom" with Lights on Campus, which has recently become a strictly interfaith entity on campus.  As a college student, the interfaith movement was a BIG part of my identity there.  Additionally, I ate at my favorite restaurants, shopped in the cutest boutiques, laughed at college kids while simultaneously being impressed by this radiant invincibility that they all seem to have, stayed among the woods in a cozy cabin, and enjoyed a full break from life for a few days.  Another highlight of my trip there was that we were able to attend a dance show called, "Fusion" by the Asian American Association (which I was NEVER a part of!), and their senior dance included homage to the best (Carly Rae Jepsen, 1D, BSB, Psy), including choreographed moves to the Pokémon theme song.  Seriously, CHOREOGRAPHED MOVES!!  Anyways, I thought if they could do that with no shame, then I can work out and get fit with pride.

Enter, this week!

Tuesday's WOD:

4 rounds of
400m run
40 squats (with arms up)
30 sit ups
20 push ups (chest to ground)
10 pull ups
5 burpees

Bonus medicine ball jump thing alternating with a star jump (a modified jumping jack, essentially) in alternating ladders (so, like 10 medicine ball things/1 jump, then 9 medicine ball things/2 jumps). 

What I did:

2 complete rounds and an extra run and squat set.  Oh, and I did jump ups instead of pull ups. 

Here's the kicker...I made it to 8 medicine ball things, and had to throw up again.  And this time, I ate only strawberries approximately 2 hours before working out.  So, I stopped, but I felt accomplished, yet again.

And now it's two days later, and I am fighting pain in my core and thigh muscles.  It has been an incredibly long work week, but tonight wasn't unbearable.  I've been eating much better this week than I have been typically, and I have cut my carb intake to my daily reduced fat cheezit allowance, a bowl of kashi cereal, and a greek yogurt.  Otherwise, it's all fruits, vegetables, one serving of dairy, and tuna or other protein.

Tonight, we did this:

"Karen" which is 150 wall balls (squatting and throwing a medicine ball to the wall upon coming up) with a 10 minute cap

Wall Ball Demo

8 minute break

10 min cap, AMRAP of 50 singles, 10 kb swings, 10 burpees

Burpee Demo

Now, considering my vomit situation with the burpees and jumping, I modified my burpees to come down on a box edge instead of all the way down.  And since there wasn't enough wall space, we broke up into two groups.  I did the AMRAPs first, and did 4 rounds with a 15 lb kettle bell, sweat dripping into my eyes.  And then did the wall balls.  I used an 8 lb medicine ball, and I really didn't think I would be able to do a full 150, but I broke it up into 10s, 5s, 20s, whatever it took to get me to keep going.  He called one minute left, and I had 20 left.  I had to take a lot of breaks and water drinks, but when he called time, I had 5 left, and I went for it.  Again, I felt supported and cheered on by my friend and the people in the class.  No matter what level people are on, everyone's on the same page.  It was so rewarding.  I couldn't believe I did it; I may not have done each one perfectly, but I didn't wimp out, and that's what impressed me about myself so much. :o)

They officially gave me a notebook to start recording what I do, and as a chronic note taker, I think that will work out well.  What I am also doing, is writing a positive note to myself at the bottom of each page.  Corny as it is, it'll keep me going when I can see all the nice things I say about myself.

Afterwards, there was a terrific snow storm, and it took 90 minutes to travel about 5 mi.  Thankfully, my friend was driving, and we returned home safely.  It was definitely worth it!

Song of the Day: "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz

"Thrift Shop" (explicit)


This song is amazingly upbeat, albeit a little dirty.  It makes me excited about whatever I am doing.  Plus, it's totally ironic, and that's like a thing, now, right?  Anyways, I ventured to Skinnyfit for the first time alone when this happened...the craziest WOD ever!  Needless to say, I scaled, and barely made it over the halfway point (I got to somewhere in the 400 singles).  I felt incredible though (and disgustingly sweaty and out of breath), because I really pushed myself for the full 30 minutes.  This set is a ladder, and it felt like I was getting nowhere.  The 100 kb swings afterward were a little "bonus" if you will.  Now, if only I could get them to let me pick the music!  And the best part about this workout is that, even though there was a 30 minute cap, a few people wanted to finish out their burpees, and what's the best way to accomplish that when you just feel like you are going to collapse?  Having the support of the other exercisers around you!  It was amazing how people clapped for the few that wanted to finish and struggled through the last burpees, and even more than that, a few people even DID MORE BURPEES with them!  I was astonished by the support that emanates from this group of people.  Maybe next time, I'll get a little closer.

100 singles
40 burpees
200 singles
25 push ups
300 singles
100 walk lunges
400 singles
80 squats
300 singles
100 walk lunges
200 singles
25 push ups
100 singles
40 burpees

100 kettle bell swings, 10 per minute for 10 minutes