Nov 14, 2013

"Young, Wild, and Free" by Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and Bruno Mars

I've recently resigned to the realization that I am in fact, a twentysomething, with nothing but financial obligation, who chooses to prioritize family, personal time, health, and spending time with friends having new experiences.  I am thoroughly enjoying going to Crossfit/Skinnyfit as often as I have been, splurging on good, quality food, and answering only to myself.  This song played tonight, and although I'm not quite as carefree as the song would suggest (I am fiscally responsible and always go to work), the attitude that "I don't care who sees" resonates with me.  I still wear tight fitting clothes to Crossfit that showcase my belly fat and my legs.  I am putting myself out there and I'm not going to hide under baggy, un-cute clothes. 

I have been going to Crossfit more regularly and feeling less and less self-conscious about what kind of workout is going to be posted, and more and more confident about being inviting and being myself, there.  I have encountered some very kind, helpful people within the walls of this establishment.  People who help me with bands, carry boxes for me, clean up my supplies because I'm the last person working out, people who yell and encourage me to keep going, people who offer tips to improve my form or to make it a little easier on myself.  I have been eating well, but I had Doritos, today.  NOT a good idea.  But I have also recently decided to stop keeping a food journal.  I don't want to be hung up on calories (even approximated ones which is what I did most of the time), and I want it to be an overall improvement.  I don't plan on writing down what I eat for the rest of my life, but I do plan on working out and pushing myself.

I have definitely noticed that I can run with more stamina.  Still usually start out in the beginning and end up in the back, but at least I finish.  My squat positioning is consistent and my elbows are out, which indicates that I have improved shoulder flexibility.  My arms are getting tighter, my traps are getting sore more regularly, meaning they are coming into their own form, and my knees are bruised from the rigor of some of the workouts.  I love it!  I have spent quite a few evenings looking at my body in the mirror.  I never even used to be able to do that, clothed, and feel comfortable.  Now, I examine my naked self to see what areas are improving, which areas still need work, and to build confidence.  It's just a body.  A tool to feel better about myself.  My clothes are fitting much looser and I am buying smaller sizes at the store.  And this may not seem like a big deal, but my breasts are a little smaller.  It is an area that I have always been self-conscious about, and now they are becoming more shapely.  So are my legs.  I never thought that would happen.  I attributed their shape to genetics and accepted that they would never be my favorite feature.  But I have strong legs, now.  And I love to look at them. :o)

Over the last few weeks since my last blog entry, I endured a "met-con" week, meaning it was mostly "metabolic conditioning" which means a hell of a lot of cardio and at high intensity.  I've also worked on snatches, overhead squats, back squats, push presses, wall balls, pull ups, and cleans.  A girl named Kelly really helped me with my pull ups.  As I do not have as much upper body strength, these are very hard for me, and I require 2-3 bands to do them, efficiently.  She helped me to loop them together, as I always had them next to each other, and they were freaking hard to get into, that way.  FYI, a banded pull up is such.  I also have been pushing myself to speed up, a little.  That's my worst area.  I can do the weight lifting, and I can do the technical stuff.  But I am not very fast.  And I don't care to be.  But I have to get to a point where I get just a tad of a rush from being fast or finishing on time, because that will push me.  I do have to admit, when I miss a workout by just a few reps, I feel really frustrated about it.  And I want to avoid that feeling.

Things are well.  My life is good.  I'm happy.