Jun 5, 2014

"Titanium" by David Guetta, feat. Sia (as covered by Boyce Avenue)


This song.  Just :::sigh:::.  The original is an all-time favorite, and this version is kind of how I sing the song in my head.  Cause while I love David Guetta, the lyrics are more subtle to me.  Also, I love Boyce Avenue and covers.  They are superb.  The lyrics from this song are so empowering, and it is one of few songs that I do not ever turn off when it comes on.  I am always in the mood to hear it.  It makes me feel fierce and like I could conquer anything.

Hold on, singing break!  :::sings::: "...I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose...fire away, fire awaaaaaay!  Ricochet, you take your aim!  Fire away, fire away (insert dramatic facial expression)!  You shoot me down, but I won't fall!  I am titaaaaaannnniuuuuummmm!  You shoot me down, but I won't fall!  I am tiiiitaaaaaniiiiiiuuuuum!"
See?

Anywho, a while ago, this article came out, called "Why I Don't do Crossfit."  I stupidly clicked on the link, but didn't/couldn't read the whole thing.  I have read anti-Crossfit things before, but for some reason, the way this article was written really crawled under my skin.  So much to the point, that it is annoyingly popping up in my head at least once a day.  So.annoying.  Part of my issue with the original article is how it was written.  So attacking.  It paraded as a, "my personal opinion about a particular sport program and why it doesn't work for me," kind of post, but was really, "these is my one experience, and can I convince you that this entire movement is harmful to the greater public, and you're an idiot for doing it" kind of rant.  It really should have been titled, "Why NO ONE should do Crossfit.  Ever."  I also tried to read other reactionary articles that highlighted the positives of Crossfit, but the ones that really stuck out to me were the ones that asked for a solution and critique.  Such as...

"Crossfit Bashers, Can You Be More Constructive?"

and

"200,000 Thank Yous and One Request"


And in accordance with the request to educate; here is some basic information about Crossfit (What is Crossfit?) and (Beginner's Guide to Crossfit).

I do realize that I risk being injured.  And probably will be at some point, but with a fixable, acute problem.  But I also realize that I risk injuring my body indirectly by treating it poorly (running only sporadically, having too many cheat days, fueling the negative relationship I had with food and nutrition) with much more long-term effects.  No thank you.  I live in the fucking United States of America.  I have every opportunity at my fingertips.  Why am I going to waste such fortune being a fat, unhappy, tired, cranky person?

One thing that I did not realize about Crossfit, is that this is the first time in my life I have ever been a part of a close-knit community that shared a common bond.  I never belonged to a church or a sports team or a support group before.  This is my first religious experience, in a figurative sense of the word.  I never understood the benefit of such a bond.  And more than that, I didn't realize I was missing out on anything.  I love talking to my coaches and catching up with my fellow Crossfitters.  I've done the gym thing before; in college I would go at 600am so no one would see me and I wouldn't have to torment myself watching the sorority girls on the ellipticals.  I never would have used a thigh machine or anything that made me feel the least bit vulnerable with anyone within 50 feet.  Not here.  Part of it is my age, and coming into my own, but the other part is that this environment is conducive to trying new things, counting on the positivity from others to reach for the sky.  Here, within these walls and with these people, I am encouraged, openly, directly and indirectly, relentlessly.

And as for the request to advocate...from all sides, I see benefit from incorporating Crossfit into my life.  My strongest argument for the haters is my testimony.  My story.  My success story.  I only advocate for what I believe in; it's a small list of what I feel incredibly strong about, and Crossfit/fitness/healthy eating is one of those platforms I choose to spend my energy and intelligence towards.  I've done this for a year now.  I was never an athlete before; I never enjoyed physical activity (except walking and bowling).  My transformation is only just beginning.  I'm shedding these pounds, the shame and embarrassment, the fear, the insecurity, the anxiety.  Even I can't argue with myself that this is working!

My second strongest argument would be, try it!  Try it with a credible coach who knows what they are talking about, listen to what they have to say, treat fitness as a multi-faceted dynamic, and first and foremost...LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.  Sometimes it tells you you're tired, and you can argue with that.  But you should never argue with pain.  That is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong.  My coaches are always receptive to my questions, my concerns, and my aches and soreness.  Never have I ever been made to feel like I should already know how to do something or deal with something.

As I was struggling to process through this stupid article and figure out why it bugged me so much (mostly I thought it had to do with my former instinct to be defensive), I reached out to a friend, who kindly reminded me that I do this for me.  I love it.  I see and feel benefit from it.  I am growing stronger and just in general because of it.  I have to be okay with others' opinions, no matter how ill-informed they may be.  I have to do this with such conviction that it doesn't matter what other people say about it.  I do it for me.  Solely.  I can't convince everyone, or do I need to, right?  It's just difficult when you love something so much and want to share it with your loved ones, friends, acquaintances, anyone who will listen, but it is so inaccessible to a lot of people, or seemingly so.  If I were to identify the top criticism of Crossfit, they would be that it is too expensive.  I pay a pretty penny for my membership, but from that I don't merely get access to their equipment.  I also get quality coaching from a caring, knowledgeable group of people, I gain friendships and bonds with others on similar journeys, I build camaraderie with these people, and I get to come do something fun (mostly) 6 days/week.

My friend also reminded me that no system is perfect and that some people just focus on the imperfections.  Sometimes I can't believe how much I love Crossfit and how much I have changed my eating habits, that I ask myself, "Okay, am I just doing this blindly, or do I really think eating grains, sugars, etc is bad for me?"  And the answer is always, "Trust your body.  You tried these changes, and they are working.  Never have you ever felt better in your life."  I know what it feels like to abstain from grains and processed food, have a cheat day, and feel like I am hungover because of the vast effects.  I know what it's like to eat empty calories and feel hungry all day.  I know the difference it makes when I eat whole foods, drink water, and eat enough food on a regular basis.  I'm not a brainwashed schmuck whose coaches control her with a marionette.  I am an intelligent woman who is part of the weight epidemic.  I choose to listen with a grain of salt to some of what my coaches say.  I choose to listen earnestly when they have a critique for my form or endurance.  I choose to push myself under the guidance of these well-informed teachers and visionaries. 

Let me put it this way.  I am almost always in the bottom half of the class when it comes to anything that requires running, doing things fast, or pushups and pullups.  I am not a competitive person.  I do not ever care what my score is.  I don't ever care if I am the fastest.  I look at the scores to gauge a general time frame or weight range, but that's it.  I don't fit into this mold of a typical athlete.  I truly believe there is no mold for the perfect Crossfitter, not physically anyway.  Anyone who is open-minded, willing to learn, supportive, kind, a team player, and leaves their ego at the door is suitable for Crossfit.  There are so many elements to it, that something, could benefit just about anyone.  IF you choose to let it affect you in such the positive way.

Back to those song lyrics ("You shoot me down, but I won't fall.")  The "you" in this song has been personified by a few different entities on my journey to fitness.  The biggest offender is myself, my fear and self-consciousness.  I get in my own way to success.  I am learning to do that less and less.  Now, I guess another contender might be the people who can't see Crossfit for what it is, but rather for its flaws and imperfections.

So there.  That is WHY I DO CROSSFIT

Sing it, Sia!  I mean, guy from Boyce Avenue!

"You shout it out
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized
But all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up!"

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