"Money Tree" by Caroline Glaser

This artist opened for Straight No Chaser, an acapella group that formed in college about twenty years ago, and currently tours.  They are amazing and hilarious.  This girl, was a contestant on "The Voice," and her voice is very special, indeed.  It was also really cool to hear her clear voice in a dark, quiet auditorium. This song is one of her two released original songs.  It laments being a bit foolish and not listening to the advice given you, and then breaking out, and still having a chance to make it big.  Having your moment.  Here is the refrain:

"Listen up now, listen good.
Listen up like I know I should
I've got one chance to make a scene,
Make a name I've got to plant that seed

You spend your whole life being someone you're not,
So quick to forget all the things you've been taught.
If I sing oh oh oh and la la la could you hear my cry? Would you sing along?"

I feel like that is what I do when I do these Crossfit workouts, putting myself out there in ways that I never thought possible.  I've subconsciously had this fear to not overthink and analyze everything that I wanted to do.  With Crossfit, I was still conservative, but I took the plunge.  And I'm so much the better for it.  I want to "make a scene, " "make a name," and "plant the seed."  It gets easier to get over the nerves, and it has morphed from fear of how I appear to anxiety about doing something greater than I thought I would be able to.  Very, very rarely, am I disappointed when I leave a class.  How often is it in life that I can say that?  About work, about school, etc.  Why wouldn't I keep going back for more? 

I came across this article on the Crossfit Facebook page, and it perfectly highlighted why I love Crossfit, and why I am hooked.  There are a lot of quotables, but my favorite quote, :With most workouts, beginners look like assholes and then they look like pros. In our case, everyone looks like an asshole. "  Basically, implying that everyone is working hard and working on their form.  A lot of the Crossfit pictures you will see are of elite athletes, but that is not what everyone looks like.  Another favorite quote is, "We build a strong camaraderie and the competition is motivating. You suffer through the workout, but you know that you are suffering together." There really is this supportive group of people building each other up.  A perfect stranger, but you have a common goal, I feel as if in other gyms or workout classes, there is a competitive nature that has nothing to do with competing against yourself, but others.  With my gym, yeah there is some friendly competition, but when it comes to the end of the day, it's about whether or not you are proud of yourself and feel accomplished.  Also, the thing I love about Crossfit, is that there is always room to grow and improve.  Always.  With other workout classes, there are people that have achieved the hardest parts, and then there are others who may feel inadequate because they aren't there yet or never get there.  With Crossfit, even the most elite athlete strives for more, more weight, more speed, less time, more reps, or whatever.  The goal is the same.  I can't state that enough.  Here is the rest of the article.

Enjoy!

"Party Up" by DMX

Throwback Monday?  This song brings me back to 7th grade, and I especially love the uber 2000s bucket hat that DMX sports in this video.  Nothing more badass during a bank heist.  This song gets me disproportionately pumped up.  Aaaannnyway, it's been far too long since I have posted.  Life has taken over, and I relented, fully.  The holidays threw me off my Crossfit frequency, but it welcomed me again with open arms afterwards.  There was an entire week where all I did was one at home workout, and I felt all out of sorts.  Plus, I was sick, and sleeping all the time.  But the first one I did after that break was the 100s WOD.  Sounds better than it actually is.

100 American Kettle Bell Swings (35# for women)
100 pull ups (any kind...banded, kipping, jumping, ring rows)
100 double unders (scale is 300 singles)
100 overhead squats (65# for women)

25:00 cap

Our sympathetic coach, who hates cardio, literally said, "I'm sorry, guys.  This is terrible."  I felt as if the workout was an "F you, Angie!  For not coming to see us!"  I got through the KBS, a combination of banded and jumping pull ups, all of the singles (with a short pee break), and 32 of the OHS.  The scale was to do just 50 reps of each thing, but we were encouraged to go for it if we have been doing this for a while.  Well, it's been about 6 months or so, so I am no longer "new" I guess.  I was happy with how I did, but that workout wasn't fun at all, not even a little bit.  I wish I had banded pull ups better, and I did 55# for the OHS.  Nonetheless, it was a good one.  Also, I was annoyed that the week that we were establishing new 1RM (1 rep max, the heaviest you can do for any particular movement, 1 time) was Christmas week, and I missed them all.

Since then, I have agreed to participate in the Nutrition Challenge at my box.  It is based on the Maximized Living Advanced Plan, generally speaking.  And basically it is a 4 week program that detoxes all sugars and toxins in foods, which includes grains (bread, pasta, flour, rice), soy, alcohol, and most processed foods.  The diet is based on grass fed meats, grass fed dairy, vegetables, only certain fruits that are low in sugar, some beans and legumes, healthy fats (avocados, coconuts), nuts, and seeds.  Organic as much as possible.  We were provided with detailed meal plans, shopping lists, and the ideologies.  It's not a diet.  It's going to be a way of life.  And it's practical about having slip ups, which isn't the end of the world.  Elizabeth, my friend, is doing this with me, hopefully we can keep each other on board.

We were asked to do a weigh in and a "before" picture.  I chickened out, and kept my shirt on for the "before" picture.  I looked like a total scrub and a young, cute, boy was taking the pictures.  I manned up and took one at home.  Which I will share, regardless.  And I will take my "after" picture at the gym, sports bra and shorts.  Biggest Loser style.  But I am excited.  I like having the support and the knowledge that I get to choose to do this for 28 days.  I am not debilitated by physical barriers or financial barriers.  Too good of an opportunity not to try.

After that talk, we did a very quick 4:00 workout (these workouts reflect the workouts that will be completed in the Crossfit Games Open in a couple months).  And afterward, I stayed to work on a couple movements having missed 1RM week.  I established two new personal records (Front Squat 140# (by 5 lbs) and Push Press #110 (by 15 lbs).  I also dropped the bar, a lot.  About five times, and had five different, very generous people, pick it up for me.  It's such a different feel being there during open gym hours.  There is no time constraint, the dogs just roam around, and you can really lose yourself, while subconsciously being surrounded by the motivating elements and people of Crossfit.  I wish I had more opportunities to do open gym hours.

Tonight, the workout was pretty brutal, too.  And quite literally named, "Mofo," and that it was.  A true mofo.  It was EMOTM x10, alternating 7 BSQ @ 70% 1RM and 10 burpees.  Then followed by EMOTM x10, 10 wall balls.  Then mobility for quads, 2:00 couch stretch, each leg.  A killer, for sure.  I never imagined I would be the kind of person that would actually be working out next to strangers, with no thought as to what they think of me, offering support where I see it is needed, and being so open about my strengths and weaknesses.  It was a hard lesson to learn that I shouldn't be ashamed of my body and ability because I wasn't born with natural born talent.  And that I should be rewarding my body with healthy choices vs punishing myself physically, mentally, and emotionally for being imperfect.  So much better, do I feel about myself, in general.

It's been 2 days, and I have had one slip up.  I invested in good quality foods

"Shape of my Heart"/"Tearin' up my Heart"

 

BSB (Brian's still the best)

 

 

NSYNC (JC 4eva)

 

 

Can it be true that Matt (a 21 year old boy, mind you) was blasting my favorite boy band songs as I traipsed into Cornerstone, this evening?  My absolute favorite BSB song, then followed by my 2nd favorite NSYNC song.  And yes, you can be a dual fan.  I always have been.  BSB has more staying power, but NSYNC freaking rocked the dance moves.  Alright, have I been talking about boy bands for too long?  Anyway, it was so much fun for me, and brought me right back to my 6th grade dances.  If they only knew that I still listen to all these songs, currently.  And hearing these songs on a stereo system, loudly and proudly, definitely amped me up for the workout.  I was determined to finish the WOD tonight, because I have recently been in a pinch where I keep almost finishing WODs, and it's super annoying.  The workout tonight was:

 

5x5 overhead squats (no one is "good" at these) followed by a 20:00 cap for 50 pullups/50 American KBS (35 lbs for women)/50 double unders (150 singles)/50 overhead squats (65lbs for women),  I do not have pull ups, so I use bands to help me, but still 50 is a lot.  I finished those quickly since I scaled them (and I was the only one to do so.  I miss my other class.  Haha.), and then the kettle bell swings weren't so bad to do 10 at a time.  But the singles took me a little bit longer.  It was the freaking overhead squats that I knew were going to give me trouble. To put it in a time frame, I was done with the first two movements in under 6 minutes.  And I was the slowest one.  Oh, and you couldn't break them up into 10s or anything, you had to finish one whole set of movements before going onto the next one.  I dropped the bar behind me and was doing them in sets of 4 some point in the middle of the overhead squats, but I finished in 18:38!  I was very happy with how I did, tonight.  I needed to bounce back from last night, I think, where I don't think I pushed myself as hard as I could have (workout was FSQ 5x5 and then Tabata (20sec on/10sec rest) of squats x8, then push ups x8, then butterfly situps x8.  As many as possible.  That was a real doozy. 

 

Aside from the love for boy bands coinciding with my love for Crossfit, there is another reason I love this place.  Last Saturday, two members (one is a coach, the other his wife) hosted a charity event to raise money for building a school/community center in Haiti.  The children they serve are currently being schooled in a tent and have minimal supplies.  So, they hosted an all day competition and the winners received a moderate amount on a giftcard and a hand drawn picture from a child at the school.  I did not compete or even attempt to (it was a month long event), but I did agree to volunteer, all day.  It was so nice to see my coaches and fellow members outside of the WOD realm.  One coach competed, and that was cool to see him, too.  Funnily enough, as coaches, I don't get to see them do a whole lot of working out during the week, so it's neat when I get to.  The day really showed me what a family Crossfit becomes.  There were shared laughs, adoration for the new dog, and plantain chips.  Plus, the whole premise of the day was to put yourself through something for the sheer profit of someone else who needs it more badly than you do.  And I miss that from my life.  I like to see that Crossfit can build bridges into parts of the real world.  Just solidifies my respect for the whole notion.

 

Continuing to be in love with this life...

"Demons" by Imagine Dragons

What can I say?  This song is beyond beautiful and poignant and freaking amazing.  Yes, Louis C.K,, I choose to use the word "amazing" for this song (reference here).  The lyrics are a little depressing, but what I get from this song, is strength in adversity, and the effort to be fearless despite what you are, whether that's "good" or "bad."  And for me, that alludes to the unhealthy habits I've had and the effects they have had on my body.  I'm not perfect, I cannot offer you or myself everything, but I have something to cherish and something to take care of.  My body and my self.  Cue the cheesy background music!  I think this song is about forgiving yourself for the faults and imperfections you may have committed or that you have. 

This song also speaks to me about my mom.  Who recently underwent kidney transplant surgery after being on a donor list for 8ish years (no one can really remember if it was 8 or 10).  She is a diabetic, she has some pulmonary hypertension, she has a little bit of congestive heart failure.  She wasn't the greatest at taking care of her body and was also handed a few cards that made it worse.  But, above all of that, she has a heart of gold.  She would never wish bad upon a person, and she wants only for good to be in the lives of her loved ones.  She isn't perfect, and she doesn't always say the most perfect things (especially to her most perfect daughter, me!), but she is truly an example of goodness.  But back to my point, even though she had put herself in the situation of having low functioning kidneys, she has received a truly miraculous gift.  A second chance.  The song doesn't say if you deserve saving or not, but that it's there.  And that it's okay to embrace all of who you are, good, bad, or otherwise.

So back to Crossfit.  I have been good about going, and really missed it when I couldn't go as often while Mom was in the hospital for surgery and whatnot.  But I went the night before Thanksgiving, and was the only person there!  It was a partner workout ("Jack" 20:00 AMRAP 10 push presses/10 kettle bell swings/10 box jumps).  I didn't go that fast, but I kept a good pace.  I was off my game, though.  As evidenced by the fact that I hit my chin with the bar, nearly dropped a 35 lb kettle bell behind my head, and nearly fell forward on a box jump.  I hadn't been eating that great because I was out of my routine, and while that is the weakest excuse, I used it to justify drinking diet soda and eating a pizza in a week, all by myself.  I also forgot my hair thing that night, and my hair (almost down to my butt), kept getting caught in my armpits. :)

And then, last night, I went back and we did "Cindy with a Jerk."  I laugh everytime I see that!  "Cindy" is a 20:00 AMRAP of 5 pull ups/10 push ups/15 squats, and they also added a clean and jerk.  I met my goal of number of rounds, and it felt great to be "back."  Oh, and we were supposed to end with a 2 mi cool down, and we typically run behind the shopping center where our box is.  It was dark, and it started to rain.  Brandon bestowed pity on us, and less than halfway through, he picked us up in his car.  :)  He also cleaned up all of our supplies.  What a guy.

Tonight, I went to Skinnyfit, and Matt blasted "Demons" about halfway through the workout, which was a real doozy! (400m run, "Karen"-150 wall balls, "Annie"-50/40/30/20/10 sit ups/double unders (or scaled double the amount of single jump ropes), 400m run).  And the song carried me through the first set of sit ups.  I was the last to finish with a 35:00 cap.  And Matt, being the supportive coach and generous person that he is, ran with me the last 400m.  You can't pay for quality coaching like that!  And not to mention, Matt had us play leap frog and do cartwheels in the warm up.  He is like a puppet master.  But in a nice, sadistic, way. :) 

That is two nights in a row, that people have been generous enough to clean up my things for me.  I feel as if I benefit so much from the people who go here and the coaches, that I feel compelled to put something back into this establishment.  That's what drives me to be a success story and to spread the support and encouragement to others who walk through our doors.  I can't say it enough.  Loving crossfit.  Loving myself.

"Young, Wild, and Free" by Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and Bruno Mars

I've recently resigned to the realization that I am in fact, a twentysomething, with nothing but financial obligation, who chooses to prioritize family, personal time, health, and spending time with friends having new experiences.  I am thoroughly enjoying going to Crossfit/Skinnyfit as often as I have been, splurging on good, quality food, and answering only to myself.  This song played tonight, and although I'm not quite as carefree as the song would suggest (I am fiscally responsible and always go to work), the attitude that "I don't care who sees" resonates with me.  I still wear tight fitting clothes to Crossfit that showcase my belly fat and my legs.  I am putting myself out there and I'm not going to hide under baggy, un-cute clothes. 

I have been going to Crossfit more regularly and feeling less and less self-conscious about what kind of workout is going to be posted, and more and more confident about being inviting and being myself, there.  I have encountered some very kind, helpful people within the walls of this establishment.  People who help me with bands, carry boxes for me, clean up my supplies because I'm the last person working out, people who yell and encourage me to keep going, people who offer tips to improve my form or to make it a little easier on myself.  I have been eating well, but I had Doritos, today.  NOT a good idea.  But I have also recently decided to stop keeping a food journal.  I don't want to be hung up on calories (even approximated ones which is what I did most of the time), and I want it to be an overall improvement.  I don't plan on writing down what I eat for the rest of my life, but I do plan on working out and pushing myself.

I have definitely noticed that I can run with more stamina.  Still usually start out in the beginning and end up in the back, but at least I finish.  My squat positioning is consistent and my elbows are out, which indicates that I have improved shoulder flexibility.  My arms are getting tighter, my traps are getting sore more regularly, meaning they are coming into their own form, and my knees are bruised from the rigor of some of the workouts.  I love it!  I have spent quite a few evenings looking at my body in the mirror.  I never even used to be able to do that, clothed, and feel comfortable.  Now, I examine my naked self to see what areas are improving, which areas still need work, and to build confidence.  It's just a body.  A tool to feel better about myself.  My clothes are fitting much looser and I am buying smaller sizes at the store.  And this may not seem like a big deal, but my breasts are a little smaller.  It is an area that I have always been self-conscious about, and now they are becoming more shapely.  So are my legs.  I never thought that would happen.  I attributed their shape to genetics and accepted that they would never be my favorite feature.  But I have strong legs, now.  And I love to look at them. :o)

Over the last few weeks since my last blog entry, I endured a "met-con" week, meaning it was mostly "metabolic conditioning" which means a hell of a lot of cardio and at high intensity.  I've also worked on snatches, overhead squats, back squats, push presses, wall balls, pull ups, and cleans.  A girl named Kelly really helped me with my pull ups.  As I do not have as much upper body strength, these are very hard for me, and I require 2-3 bands to do them, efficiently.  She helped me to loop them together, as I always had them next to each other, and they were freaking hard to get into, that way.  FYI, a banded pull up is such.  I also have been pushing myself to speed up, a little.  That's my worst area.  I can do the weight lifting, and I can do the technical stuff.  But I am not very fast.  And I don't care to be.  But I have to get to a point where I get just a tad of a rush from being fast or finishing on time, because that will push me.  I do have to admit, when I miss a workout by just a few reps, I feel really frustrated about it.  And I want to avoid that feeling.

Things are well.  My life is good.  I'm happy.

"Livin in the Moment" by Jason Mraz

No video for this song yet, but it doesn't really need one.  The message is so simple and poignant.  I would like to think that I do this fairly well, but as of late, I have been hung up on this and that.  I recently took (most of) a week from work, and it was great to sleep, spend time with family, and get a few things done that have been staring at me on my "to do" list for weeks.  My current living situation is that during the week I live with a married couple (met the wife in grad school) and their 6 year old daughter to be closer to work.  They are the ones who introduced me to Crossfit, and to Cornerstone.  So, when I go home to my condo (where my parents also live) on the weekends or when I take off from work, I don't generally go to my normal box (it's 45 minutes away vs 10 minutes).  Anyways, I attempted to complete some at home workouts, which include mostly cardio, as I do not have access to bars at my community gym.  At best, I have a 20 lb kettle bell, but it mostly consists of low maintenance movements (squats, burpees, sit ups, push ups, planks, arm bars/windmills, lunges, Russian twists, jump roping).  I did that only a couple of times, and I did attempt to do some pull ups and knees to chest on the local monkey bars, but it was just a tad low.  I enjoyed working out at home, but I really do thrive when others are around me, either suffering with me or inspiring me to do better.

I managed to make it to Crossfit last Thursday for the 1000am class, and it was taught by the head coach, Jen.  Consisted of:

For time--
1000m row
25 pistols (basically a one legged squat, and you have to do both sides to count as 1 rep)
15 hcpl (hang power cleans)

And then, back squats 3reps x 5 times every 3 minutes.  New 3 rep max.

My row time has improved immensely (500m in 1:41, vs 2:19 a couple months ago, and then 1000m in 4:37).  I like rowing, but it can be high intensity.  The pistols I had to scale by sitting on a bench, because I just go all the way down or not down far enough without it.  I am somewhere between needing the bench and not needing it.  Hopefully next time, I won't need it for the whole time.  The hcpl weren't bad.  I completed the whole thing in 12:10 and I cleaned 85lbs I believe.  I had to throw a couple of back squats, but nice guys helped me out.  It was a really successful class, and I like having all the time in the world to take.  That's what I would do if I were a housewife. :o)

And then the weekend came, and I visited a friend in Bowling Green, OH.  A typical college town with good eats, and way too much junk for Angie!  I was cranky from the massive amounts of cereal, naan, basmati rice, chips and queso, and pizza that I ate.  It was all wonderfully delicious, but I paid for it, literally--emotionally--physically.

But I came back to work this week, ready to Crossfit it everyday and get back in my game.  I took last night off to revel in one more evening of drinking tea and watching Netflix.  And I came back, today.  I made poor dietary choices again, as I had leftover steak for breakfast (which was not the problem), but it was the 3 mini Snickers bars and 2 Halloween cookies I had for the rest of the day (and nothing else).  ALL SUGAR.  I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day, but I think it lead to the results of tonight's workout.  Workout was:

400m run and 9-7-5 muscle ups/snatches (Scales: chest to bar x2 or pull ups x3 and lower weight for snatches).  Snatches are a hard movement for me, and I just recently mastered the power snatch (catching the bar in a partial squat).  The full snatch is catching the bar in a below parallel squat.  All in 15:00.  So, I was expected to do 27 pull ups/9 snatches/21 pull ups/7 snatches/15 pull ups/5 snatches.

Followed by Deadlifts 2 reps x 5 every 3 minutes at 90% max weight.

I only did 55 lbs, but I kept falling forward, or falling on my butt.  I managed to break it up into a power snatch and then basically overhead squat it.  Apparently, that is what a lot of people ended up doing.  And I can barely do banded pull ups; I'm still heavy, and I don't have the upper body strength to get my whole body up there.  I was really frustrated with myself and really annoyed.  I couldn't finish in the 15:00 cap, and I only got 49 reps.  My deadlifts were okay.  175 was the highest I went, so I need to establish a new 1 rep max at some point, since my last recorded was 165 and that was 4 months ago.

I kind of threw the bar during deadlifts, and Megan gave me some tips to improve my squat for snatches.  Squats are my thing, but I have been teetering lately, and I don't know why the hell that is.  It's frustrating.  My frustrations are really very mild, but for someone who takes almost everything in stride, it seems big.  I've never left that place feeling so annoyed and frustrated.  I didn't care for it.  I almost always leave that place feeling like I kicked ass, confident, smiley, and even if I didn't get something, like I was really close to being able to.  Not the case, this evening.  My hope is for a better tomorrow, with less sugar, more good foods, and better performance.

I had a good week off; actually had a job offer and received my full certification for my career.  Even though I grumble, I am happy about where I am, and there is always another chance to improve at Crossfit, right? 

"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

Wish I had the music video for this song, but alas no.  It was like monster ballads 80s night at Skinnyfit the other night, and it totally worked!  Pat's video for "Love is a Battlefield" is the first music video I ever watched, and I have loved her (and developed my affinity for the decade in which I was born) ever since.  The other night, we did a series of AMRAPs for Skinnyfit.  I have been going directly from work lately, and barely making it on time.  And the nice thing about Skinnyfit is that it is always a surprise.  They technically try to post the WOD every morning, but sometimes they don't post it until midday or at all.  So, when I used to go at 7am, it was good, because I couldn't talk myself out of it.  That's how Skinnyfit has been.  It was a 5 min AMRAP of 20 DU or 50 singles/10 wall balls/5 toes to bar or knees to chest/1 wall walk.  Followed by a 2 min rest.  Then a 10 min AMRAP.  Followed by a 2 min rest (which turned into 3 min; we must have looked rough!), and then a 15 min AMRAP.  It was toooouuugh.  And it's only as tough as you push yourself.  I don't remember exactly how many rounds I got in, but it was a good one.  Again, Matt, the coach, is incredibly encouraging and helpful.  I didn't manage to do a full on wall walk at all, but I got closer, each time.  Wall balls are still hard for me with the 14 lb ball, but I think they're getting smoother.  Nobody likes wall balls.  They're just easier for some people than others.  My knees to chest felt a lot more precise and controlled this time, which was exciting.  Altogether, a good class.

Yesterday, my day couldn't have gone more smoothly.  I jam packed it with working in two buildings and then doing two workouts.  It started at 630am and went until 930pm, with times of rest in between, but still doing something.  Anyway, I rushed to the 530pm Crossfit class.  I'd never been on a Friday or at 530, and wasn't sure what to expect.  We did Deadlifts at 75% max 5x5 over 20:00.  Followed by AMRAP of holds for 15:00.  The holds were chin over bar (like in a pull up position) or scaled to ring rows (like gymnastic rings) to your chest (at an angle), followed by squat hold, and then a handstand or plank hold.  All for 30 sec each.  I scaled the chin to bar, as I can't even hold it for half a second.  And I scaled the hand stand hold to a head stand hold.  I attempted a hand stand (which I probably haven't done since 3rd or 4th grade), but I have a pretty solid head stand hold.  Was advised to push through my arms and not put all pressure on my neck.  OH, and I fell on my head when I tried the hand stand hold.  Haha.  Good class.  Low key, but good for a Friday.

I then went to a 2 hour Zumbathon in support of breast cancer research at a local high school.  A coworker invited me.  I used to love Zumba; it was my thing in college.  I am not coordinated, but it was fun.  I am not sure if it is because I was tired from Crossfit (unknowingly) or because it was Friday, but the first hour wasn't all that fun.  I wasn't being challenged and I was a little bored, to be honest.  The second hour was much better, and I had more fun trying to keep up with the movements.  Zumba always makes me laugh because I mess up, so often.  I noticed a distinct difference from when I did Zumba in college, though.  It's not that hard, now.  I wasn't breathing hard at all, and I had the strength to hold partial squats and arms at shoulder height for the duration of a song.  So neat to see and notice the difference.

As of yesterday, I think I am finally over the hump of gaining mm and am now losing weight, cause my scale number is consistently going down.  Maybe just a pound or so a week, but it doesn't go up, so to me that shows long-term weight loss.  Very exciting!  I had a Skyline burrito to celebrate.  Haha.

I did not go to Crossfit today, even though I worked in the time.  I started my vacation from work, early, instead.  But I might go try to work on that hand stand!